If you are not confident by nature the simple task of starting a conversation with someone new is enough to start the heart racing!
Yes, you read it correctly! Cold sweats, heart palpitations, shaking and stuttering are just some of the effects that the faint-hearted can be faced with whilst starting a conversation.
This can all be avoided by following these simple yet effective tips to help your confidence soar.
1. Shyness doesn’t pay. Being timid and shying away amongst the crowd really doesn’t pay off these days. While sitting amongst your friends and listening to their conversations, teach yourself to not only be a listener but to participate more.
2. Make sure that you contribute and offer your response to the conversation. By doing this you will in time gain confidence to start conversation topics with strangers, not just with those you are familiar with.
3. Preparation is the key! One of the qualities that make a great public speaker is the simple yet effective ability to be listened to! While alone stand in front of the mirror, practice speaking, stand straight and tall, and talk at a good volume (not shouting).
4. An assertive voice of authority will help to draw people to listen to you. In fact they won’t have the choice not to!
5. Make all eyes on you! If the person that you wish to start a conversation with has their back to you, don’t wait for them to turn around: say their name or say hello to help draw their attention. By doing this you will help to get them listening to you. You will appear confident (even if inside you have butterflies)!
6. Revise beforehand! – I don’t mean turn into a nerd, you don’t have to write it down and take a pen to paper. However you can simply have a map of your thoughts in your head, with the topic of conversation clearly planned out. Then on opening your mouth the words will flow, you won’t be stuck in a mess of thoughts and ideas and you will be able to take the conversation just where you want it to go!
7. Communication is a YES! Learn to understand that the very way that you communicate with people will be the deciding factor of just how successful you will be in this life. Use every interaction as an opportunity to improve. The very skill of being able to start a good conversation will help to take your life to higher limits!
8. Sit and think is there any successful people in your life that are not able to start a conversation? Can you live your life in the shadows of others? See that success and happiness depends on being able to get along well with people.
9. Nerves are what you make them! Teach yourself that nerves really are what you make of them. Don’t allow nerves to escalate and hold you back. Many people have difficulty in starting a conversation with a stranger so don’t be so hard on yourself.
Every one struggles in conversation at times, if you are able to take note and learn the skills mentioned above then starting a conversation needn’t be stressful. Don’t be nervous. Learn that the people you are trying to strike a conversation with are probably just as nervous as you are.
Many people lack the confidence to start a conversation, or perhaps fear talking to the opposite sex. This is a very limited way of thinking, negative thoughts such as they will laugh at me, they won’t find me interesting, etc. are really just that. Be positive! Negativity doesn’t get you anywhere.