Within the first thirty-seconds of meeting someone for the first time, we make many observations which we translate into judgments about that person we are meeting. Every human being does this. We do this naturally and automatically with little, if any, real awareness of this process.
This means that if we all do it, those we come into contact with are observing and making judgments about us, like we are about them. If you happen to demonstrate a disliking attitude this information will present itself within those first few moments, in most interactions.
For this reason we must know how we come across to people when first meeting them. If we come across in a positive way people we will attracted to us because, as in the law of physics, positive attracts and negative repels. If you want to show people you like them present your positive self.
1. To present your positive self requires you to pay attention to how and what verbal and nonverbal communication you use. The messages you send through both of these types of communication say a lot about your desire to like the person you are meeting for the first time. If you send any negative messages, within those first seconds, you may never get the chance to show them later that you like them. Remember, people will make judgments about you within the first thirty-seconds of meeting you, like you will them. Two of those first evaluations each of you will make is: “Do I like this person?” and “Does this person like me?”
2. Whenever showing people you like them it’s important to look like you are friendly. Appearing friendly can mean different things to different people, but most of us respond well to a smile and some form of a “how are you?”, no matter who we are. Most of us also respond to other positive statements as well, especially about things that relate directly to us. We all enjoy the feeling of appreciation. Compliments, mixed with the appropriate body-language, about someone’s appearance, for example, can send a message of liking something about that person.
3. One of the quickest ways to let someone know you are not interested in them is to make “me” statements. Avoid any form of a “me” statement, within those first few moments of an interaction because they can send the message that the other person is not the center of your interests. If the other person perceives that they are not the center of your interests they could possibly think that you don’t like them. Additionally, if you are talking about you it will be impossible to show the other person that you like them.
4. When you want to show someone you like them focus on them. Become interested in what they are saying or even doing. Attentively listen to them as they speak and become involved with their conversation. As they talk, paraphrase and ask them pertinent questions regarding what they are saying. If they are busy doing something and it looks like they could use some help, offer to help them. Both listening and helping are other ways to show people you like them.
The demonstration that we like someone can also be expressed in our concern for them. Most people like it when another person cares about them. Asking the person, you’ve seen in the store every morning for the past week, about their family or work are examples of concern for that person. The act of concern shows people you like them.
To wrap up, make a point of being positive, friendly and focused on the other person. Be concerned about their welfare and help them when you can. When you deal with new people in this way you’ll find that people warm to you quickly and they are keen to get to know you better.